Friday, July 22, 2011

Dealing With Inconsiderate People; Being The Art of The Magickal Mindfuck

A student of mine has sought my assistance in dealing with neighbors who have become quite overtly hostile towards him after discovering his Occult inclinations, and after assisting him in ridding himself of the offending asshats I figured that this could be a topic of use to others.

As mentioned in previous posts, I am not one of those practitioners who abhor the very thought of magick which affects another in a negative way. Quite frankly, its as valuable a tool as any other at our disposal, and when faced with people who tend to make my life more difficult or unpleasant, I am more than willing to return the favor magickally, materially and/ or in any other way which I deem efficient. 

The techniques I use in cases such as his, however, are not limited to one methodology. Instead, I use mundane aspects of psychological warfare, and employ magickal means to increase the target's sensitivity to the mundane methods of torment. In the case of the aforementioned student who we'll simply call Juan (since it is in fact his name), the neighbors, whom we will henceforth refer to as Mr. and Ms. Asshat had discovered our friend Juan was, in their own words "A damned satanist devil worshiping blasphemer". (In reality a Grimoiric Magician). This was discovered when Ms. Asshat locked her keys in her car, and rather than making her wait outside for her husbands arrival, Juan invited her to wait in his half of the duplex where she happened upon his bookshelf and its horribly evil content. 

Subsequently, Mr. Asshat, righteously appalled that such baby eating, animal sacrificing bastards could actually live in the same neighborhood with a good christian such as he, undertook a campaign against poor Juan to include posting fliers, going door to door to the others in the neighborhood and "doing his christian duty, warning them of the dangerous man in their midst", calling the police with such frequency that they actually issued a restraining order against HIM to keep him from disturbing our hero Juan, writing to the city council, and yes, to PETA suggesting that they might like to look into the possibility of animal sacrifice. (All true, I swear). 
Having endured 6 months of such torment, Juan was quite ready to introduce Mr. Asshat to the business end of a golf club, but  he'd have been locked up far longer than it would take Mr. Asshat to heal, and so the risk/reward factor just didnt justify it. Next on his list of potential solutions was to undertake a ritual of Baneful Magick, the goal of which would have been to end Mr. Asshat's reign of terror by depriving him of his right to, well, exist. While Mr. Asshat's half a year of terrorizing our good friend certainly warranted at least a  good strong Magickal kick in the ass that left a permanent scar, I impressed upon Juan just how brilliant an idea it would be to deliver such a kick to one who had spent the better part of 6 months trying to convince people, police included, that he is a devil worshiping black magician. Despite a well delivered curse leaving no physical evidence to suggest who initiated it, if an otherwise healthy guy starts hemorrhaging from his eyes for no apparent reason after accusing someone of devilry, sure as hell the neighbors are going to take notice. 

The goal, therefore, was not to do any physical harm, nor to cause any visible affect in his life or material which could be perceived by anyone outside the home. Where to start? In addition to the usual Magickal materia we'd be using, I gave Juan a shopping list. 

First, The Mind Molester. An absolutely beautiful, tiny little device which is capable of driving the most patient and stoic of men absofuckinglutely batshit. Following its delivery, which was accomplished ironically by insertion into a statue of Jesus thereafter presented by a third party as a gift, I instructed Juan to use a rite calling upon the intelligence of Mars and asking him to enhance the hearing and thus sensitivity of Mr and Ms Asshat to the device making it all the more effective. (while this is an unusual request to make to this particular intelligence and not well related to his office, I've found that he is always up for a little mischief. Probably appeals to his war-like nature)
Second, a week after the initial salvo, Liquid Roadkill applied generously to the portion of his air conditioner which is outside the home, which is the part that cycles air throughout the residence. Following application, a working designed to implore the appropriate intelligence to temporarily diminish Mr. and Ms. Asshat's patience. 

Third, yet another week into the onslaught, due to the way the heating system in the duplex shared by Juan and his persecutors was set up, it was quite easy to use Sonic Nausea (during those hours when Juan wouldn't be home, so he was not affected by it) while simultaneously using a handheld fan to blow a combination of Cat Yronwode's Banishing Powder and Break Up Powder (to cause marital discord between the husband and wife) through the ventilation system into their side of the duplex while they were at work.

There were another 3 elements to our attack, but the above is sufficient to illustrate the methodology so I wont go into further detail. The end result, as I'd hoped, was this man who'd spent so many months running about the neighborhood shouting from rooftops of devilry and black magick began running to the same people swearing he had been cursed, that he and his wife heard incessant screeching noises at all hours of the night (the Mind Molester), that their house had been overcome with the odor of death (the Liquid Roadkill, which is easily washed away when no longer needed), that they had begun having upset stomachs as a matter of course and that their very marriage had been on the rocks and that he had been visited by "demons" harassing him and his wife ceaselessly and telling them to leave. 

To the neighbors, Mr. Asshat's sanity quickly fell into question and he became a pariah, standing outside his home screaming that he could hear the demons wail and their smell their pungent odor throughout his home. 

Exactly 49 days after we begun this Magicko-Mundane operation, Mr and Ms Asshat moved, believing their home to be hopelessly haunted and seeking a new beginning elsewhere. The neighbors have almost all paid Juan a visit or stopped him outside, apologizing for having almost believed Asshat's raving and for having shunned him based on the words of a looney, and have welcomed him into the neighborhood,


  1. Very interesting story. How one does apply to be a student?

  2. This is a fantastic example of how the art of magick should be applied together with more mundane means to effect a result. Jason Miller is also a big proponent of this. Anyways, "Mr Asshat" learned an important lesson - don't persecute a Grimoiric magician! Even better, actual demonic entities were not directly conjured leaving asshat's every accusation groundless, enabling the neighborhood reconciliation to proceed without additional workings. I love the simplicity and precision with which this counter-attack was carried out. Bravo, very well done!

  3. My friend .. the Mind Molester and Liquid Roadkill!!!! To hilarious!